Fante on screen

So there's a movie version of the John Fante novel Ask the Dust coming out today.

Hmm. Okay...

Salma Hayek and Colin Farell. Whatever.

Hollywood makes things suck.

And yet, somehow I know I'll go see it anyway.

-Agent S reporting from the field

Blehh

I just finished my last exam in law school.

Now I have to start studying for the bar.

Or maybe just play World of Warcraft all day, everyday...

My grapes just got bagged

I went for a little check-in with the wee-wee doctor today. That's a good thing to do if you're dating, fellas.

He checked out my joint and said, "Hmm, what's this bump here?"

I said, "You can either touch my penis, or you can ask questions, but you can't do both at the same time."

Actually, I think I just said, "Umm, I dunno."

So Dr. Wee-Wee decides we should just freeze it off for good measure.

FREEZE IT OFF.

Great. I bet that's going to feel awesome.

He comes back with a little Dixie cup full of liquid nitrogen. He dabs the evil burny stuff on my crank, and I grit my teeth. Nice doing business with you, wee-wee freezer.

Apparently, I'm all good, no diseases apparent by symptom, but I will have to wait for lab results to find out about Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, HIV, and the others.

Oh, and he checked my grape bag, and I do NOT have testicular cancer. WOOT.

This public service message brought to you by the National Association of Urological Medicine, AND...
-Agent S.